I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize