yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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