You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
