I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
