I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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