saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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