i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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