How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
