You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize