I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
