i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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