a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
