ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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