My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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