All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize