She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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