If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
