Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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