K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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