Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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