today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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