In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
this beer tastes like vomit already
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
