shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
