Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
