so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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