If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
