if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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