I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
