I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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