Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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