ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize