Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize