it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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