Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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