Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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