We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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