imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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