Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
