Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
