For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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