Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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