im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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