oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
