I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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