Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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