the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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