I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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