Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
