plz talk dirty to me
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
