You work out of a Hotel?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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