Your dad touched me again.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
