So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
