What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
