remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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