My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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