I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That accounts for only three of the penises
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
