the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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