I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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