The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
