i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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