u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish you could order shots online.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize