i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
