i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize