Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
