I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
