I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
