I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
